How To Cultivate Connection in Your Home
Video Transcription
Hello, friends. How are you doing today? It is Friday, so that makes for a great day. I am so excited to be here with you again today.
I had the chance to go to lunch with my husband. Which was fun, except I did my hair all nice for you guys today and then it was really windy at lunch. So, I'm calling this the new look the wind blown curl look. I'm hoping it catches on above the beach wave look. I enjoy having lunch on Fridays with him. It is a great time.
I am so excited for you to join me. I am Becky Bonnell, owner of Lykke Haven Design which is a purpose-driven interior design company in Grand Rapids and today, we are going to talk about how do you create spaces in your home that cultivate connection.
Yesterday, we looked at why connection is important. It's the fact that we're all created to have connection and to have relationship and that by having that in our home, we're able to have those deep and meaningful, those rich relationships and so today, we're going to take that into how do we actually create these spaces for these relationships to be cultivated.
It all begins with the empathy exercise.
Yesterday, we also went over what an empathy exercise is in the first place and how we use that tool to create these connection bases in our home. An empathy exercise is really looking at you as the user and how you use the space. Being very mindfully present throughout your day and understanding what actions are you taking in your home. What are your thoughts? What are your feelings with those actions? You can do that with a video like a GoPro and record how you're moving throughout a specific room in your home throughout the day and then you also can have a worksheet where you're simply logging,
“I woke up. I walked to the bathroom,” and then you write your thoughts and feelings. There may be none but maybe you have positive or negative feelings. Once we pull this information together of how you're really using the space as you, the user, you're able to start connecting the dots to see how you can improve your space and on what relationships am I building in my home and how can I then cultivate those even more in our home? Are there any gaps in our home that hinder building those relationships and that's where we're going to start today.
I hope you had time with your action step yesterday to do that empathy exercise or at least, try to start it. It will feel weird. I get it. It feels odd but so many insightful things come from it. So, I urge you to actually complete that exercise. Today, when we start to talk about how we're actually going to create those cultivating spaces in our home, that's where we start.
Where are those gaps? So, for example, you start your day, let's say you start your day and the first relationship that you work on is the relationship with you and God. You do your devotional. Does your home support that. Do you have a comfy space? Do you have everything you need to really cultivate that relationship deeper. Do you have a quiet corner? Do you want maybe a bowl for prayer requests? Whatever it is it is. Does your home support cultivating that first relationship in the morning?
Then as you go throughout your day, think about other relationships that you're cultivating. So, for me, I get up and I'll have coffee with my husband. Does our home support that action of connection? Are we able to easily make coffee? Or is there something we can change? Can we easily find a place in our home to sit down without kids bothering us so we can get a quick moment together? We love being outdoors. So, is there a space outdoors that we can easily get to in order to have coffee? And then, you keep going throughout your day. You're on to breakfast. The kids are coming down. It's pandemonium. Does your kitchen having enough room for your kids there while you're cooking breakfast? Does it support them in the discussions, the conversations that happen at breakfast? Does your home support the conversations that you have while you're getting the kids ready to go to school? Does it need a calendar there so that you guys know what's going on and how you guys are moving throughout your day. Then you just keep going throughout the day. What relationships do you have throughout the day that your home could support a deeper connection with. It's looking at these gaps and then assessing and brainstorming solutions for them.
That’s how you really create those more cultivating relationship, cultivating connection into your home even further. It's looking at these. It not one answer is going to fit everybody, right? It really depends on your empathy exercise and how you move about your home. That's why this video is little bit different. I can't just say, this is how you do it. You just do this and this and this and it's like a checkbox. That's not how it works. It really is dependent on who you are as a family, what relationships that you have, and build in your home and how can your home support those? And so, you run through the same exercise but now, let's say, you're welcoming guests in your home. Take yourself through those actions. How do you welcome your guests? Is there adequate space in your entryway for them to take off their shoes or put their coat or put their dish down while they're getting their stuff off. Is there enough space to get in the door while a kid sits right in front of it to take their shoes off? How does that space support welcoming guests into your home?
Then from there, as you come in, are you able to easily get them a drink? Or offer them a seat? Is there a calming sense to your space as far as it may be cluttered but not too cluttered that it gets distracting to having conversations together. How are your couches and seating arranged? Are they comfy? Do they allow for long conversations together that maybe don't end? Because you're just going deeper together. Do they feel intimate enough to have those bigger conversations that you have? Not all conversations are going to be big, but is your living room supportive of those big conversations? You know, are chairs pushed together maybe a little bit tighter. If you have couches, are they close enough to allow for intimate conversation or are they so far apart that you feel like you're yelling across the room? How can you have an easy conversation together? Are there enough seats for everybody? Do you offer food right away when someone comes over? Are you able to easily get that? Or is it kind of a burden to find the tray and then find the food and then part of it's over here and part of it's over there and by the time you finally get to sit down, you're kind of stressed and exhausted and you're not open to really having and cultivating those relationships.
So, take a look at how you welcome guests in your home. What are the thoughts and feelings of your guests? Ask them. That's part of the empathy exercise too if you have guests and you want to cultivate that connection with them. Ask them, what some of their thoughts and feelings are. “What raw thoughts and feelings do you have as you enter my home?” And let them answer honestly. Don't be offended, but have them answer honestly. You don't necessarily to do anything with their answer but take it in as information. Maybe you want to change the way that person thinks about your home. So maybe they say, oh, it really kind of feels dark every time I come into your home. Maybe you get a new lighting fixture or you paint the walls a lighter color to reflect the light. Maybe you get a mirror in the entryway so that it reflects light. There are little things that you can do to change how people view your home in order for them to open up to further, deeper relationship with you. This is how we bring specific spaces in our home to connect. It all starts with the empathy exercise so that you can find exactly how you develop relationships and then have your home support those.
So, your action step today. What are you going to do now? You're going to take your empathy exercise that you completed. You're going to start to look at your home. Where are those areas and gaps you may be able to improve? Just one thing to make your home more welcoming. Maybe it's making it more welcoming for your family and those relationships. Maybe it's making it more welcoming for your guests that you have over. What is the one thing you can easily do to help cultivate your connections in your home better? And create a Lykke Haven for you and your space because you matter and you are so worthy to have those deep connections.
Join me tomorrow as we talk about how we actually bring these spaces into our home. I like to always end our three days talking about these topics, with how we actually implement things in our home. I'm going to be trying to do it live. I may have to do a recording as I'll be connecting with my kids. Not sure if the soccer game is going to happen or not. It's supposed to rain. So, we'll see but I might be tied up at a soccer game. So, either I'll come on here a little bit later and I'll let you guys know or I might do a prerecording.
As always, if you found this helpful, I would love for you to share it with others. We're always trying to build up this community and then, also, as you're going through these actions, send me a message. Ask me questions. Let me know how it goes. Comment on the videos of how it went for you. I would love to hear from you. I hope you guys all have a fantastic Friday and an even more wonderful weekend ahead of you.
I will see you tomorrow.
Lykke Haven Design is a full service, purpose-driven interior design firm serving clients in West Michigan. We work with clients from Ada, to Grand Rapids, to Holland (and the occasional out of state). Our mission is to create Intentional Interiors curated with a Meaningful Mission that Cultivate Connection. We do this through a process driven by Human-Centered Design. We would love to discuss your next project and how we can help.
Please check out our services to learn more!